This “hits” home. I recently had an incident occur. A budding business relationship went sour because of an insulting apology [similar to yours and Peter’s]. Needless to say, it cost the person substantial business and a loyal new friend.

Great point Peter. I hate fake apologies too … and I must agree … when someone says, “I’m sorry I upset you” it’s a real turn off. Thanks for your comment.

Obviously, sincerity is a basic requirement – in this model, you can even get observable evidence of sincerity – do they do step three, as promised?

My only problem now is when people fake apologize. It drives me nuts. For me, the worst apologies start with “I am sorry I upset you… ” (not sorry for behavior, just my (over)reaction to it) or apologies that include the word “but”.