Yes, you must be the bigger person in order to forgive, but I do not believe one should put on a happy front when they are suffering. I’ve been deeply hurt in the past by people and it’s ruined those relationships, but I’ll never regret being honest with them about that pain and letting them know just how rotten I think their actions were.

Recently I was the bringer or pain to someone else, and I guess the inverse effect worked because I pretty much hate that person now (for guilt-tripping me and complaining about how much I hurt her to all our mutual friends). That said, it sucked even worse when she tried to play nice about the whole situation knowing full well she had yet to forgive me. I don’t speak to this person now and the situation is largely unresolved, but I am much happier having ended that period of fake niceness than continuing it.

I say if you can forgive quickly then do. If you can’t, be real and let the relationship go.