Cognitive Test

When my mom turned 90 years old the insurance company wanted her to take a cognitive test to determine the cost of her long-term health insurance. No problem. My mom is one of the sharpest and wittiest people I know at any age. This test was not going to be a problem.

Everything was set. The insurance company had arranged to have the nurse call my mom to schedule her in-home test for the following week and everyone was ready to go.

The following Tuesday my mom hears a knocking at the door. When she opened the door she saw a middle-aged woman wearing a nurse’s uniform carrying a clip board. The nurse looked up and introduced herself saying, “Hi Misses Sommers, I’m Julie from so-and-so healthcare and I’m here to give you your cognitive test. My mom responded by saying, “Hi Julie, I did not expect to see you until tomorrow.”

With that things went South quickly. Julie responded by saying. “Oh sweetheart, I’m sure you’re confused. May I come in and administer the test?”

I’ve known my mom for my entire life and I can tell you two things about her that Julie did not know. One, my mom does not like being treated like a child more does she tolerate people treating her older friends in this manner, and two, she is never confused and when challenged, she is always right. Let me say that again, she is always right.

With that, my mom paused briefly and said to Julie, “I tell you what sweetheart, before you come in, why don’t you check your little clipboard and double-check the date and time of our appointment? I know you think it’s today, but let’s make sure.

With a combination of frustration and the anticipation that she would soon be able to prove to my mom that her appointment was today, Julie flipped through a couple of pages on her clipboard looking for her appointment calendar. When she found it there was a long pause as Julie gathered her thoughts before presenting her findings to my mom in the most diplomatically way as possible. She slowly looked up and said, “You’re right. Our appointment is not until tomorrow.”

A tiny, almost imperceptible smile came across my mom’s face before turning into a sarcastic look of concern and compassion. Then she responded by saying, “Oh sweetheart, don’t be to hard on yourself, it can happen to anyone. If today is not a good day for you, I’d like to call someone to give you a ride home so that I know you’ll be safe.

Before Julie could respond, my mom put on a big smile and said, “Just kidding, bring your skinny little self in here and let’s get cracking”