Planet Fitness

So, there I was, a middle-aged man with the flexibility of a lamppost, finally caving to my wife’s relentless nagging to join a gym. Why? Because apparently, my idea of “functional fitness” – you know, leaping over fences like a startled cat and hefting bags of cement like I’m auditioning for “World’s Strongest Grandpa” – wasn’t cutting it anymore. Oh, and let’s not forget the daily Olympic event of getting out of bed without my joints playing a symphony of creaks and groans.

We sign up at Planet Fitness, aka “The Judgment-Free Zone” – which is gym-speak for “We won’t judge you, but the mirror sure will.” The plan? Three, one-hour sessions a week. Piece of cake, right? Wrong.

My wife? She’s like the Energizer Bunny on steroids. She bounces in, points at the clock so we can get a bearing on our start time, and zooms off. Me? I’m left standing there, looking like a confused sloth wondering what to do first and trying to motivate myself not to run out of the gym and spend my time at the adjacent Starbucks.

Susan’s workout routine? Fifteen minutes of actual exercise followed by 45 minutes of a post-workout massage. Mine? An hour of trying not to make eye contact with the hulking behemoths around me, all while attempting to lift weights that my seven-year-old grandson would scoff at.

One fateful morning, I decided to channel my inner Rocky and hit the gym solo. I strutted in there like I owned the place (or at least like I knew where the water fountain was).

After what felt like an eternity of grunting, sweating, and silently praying for the sweet release of death, I dragged my jelly-like limbs toward the exit. Feeling a mix of pride and nausea, I approached the front desk guy, who looked suspiciously chipper for someone surrounded by the stench of desperation and old socks.

“Hey,” I wheezed, trying to sound casual while discreetly wiping a small puddle of sweat off the counter. “Any chance you could tell me how long I’ve been here? I was too busy focusing on building these beautiful muscles to check the time.”

He glanced at the clock. “Sure thing. It’s 8:30 now. What’s your name and what time did you get here?”

“My name is Bob Sommers, and you know,” I said, waving my hand dismissively (and immediately regretting it as my arm muscles screamed in protest), “I checked in around 7:30, maybe earlier. Time flies when you’re having fun, right?” I chuckled, which quickly turned into a cough.

The young man started tapping away at his computer, probably searching for my name in the “Potential Heart Attack Candidates” database. After a moment, his eyebrows shot up. “Ah, here you are. It looks like you started your workout at 8:05. So… 25 minutes ago.”

“Twenty-five minutes?” I repeated, my voice cracking like a teenager asking someone to prom. “But… but it felt like hours!”

The guy, bless his heart, must have sensed my rapidly deflating ego. He leaned in conspiratorially, glancing left and right as if about to share a state secret. “Hold on, Mr. Sommers. Let me double-check. I might have the wrong Bob Sommers.

“He made a show of looking at something off to the side, then straightened up with a grin and said. “Oh my, I’m so sorry! I was way off. According to our security footage, it looks like you broke in through the back door at 5:00 AM this morning, a full hour before we opened. You’ve been working out for three and a half hours! Talk about dedication!”

I stood there, mouth agape, as he announced this to the entire gym. Suddenly, I wasn’t just Bob the Slightly Damp Gym Novice. I was Bob the Gym Ninja, the Dawn Warrior, the Break-and-Enter Bodybuilder!

As I limped out of the gym, basking in my newfound reputation, I couldn’t help but think: who knew getting fit could be so… criminal?

Cognitive Test

When my mom turned 90 years old the insurance company wanted her to take a cognitive test to determine the cost of her long-term health insurance. No problem. My mom is one of the sharpest and wittiest people I know at any age. This test was not going to be a problem.

Everything was set. The insurance company had arranged to have the nurse call my mom to schedule her in-home test for the following week and everyone was ready to go.

The following Tuesday my mom hears a knocking at the door. When she opened the door she saw a middle-aged woman wearing a nurse’s uniform carrying a clip board. The nurse looked up and introduced herself saying, “Hi Misses Sommers, I’m Julie from so-and-so healthcare and I’m here to give you your cognitive test. My mom responded by saying, “Hi Julie, I did not expect to see you until tomorrow.”

With that things went South quickly. Julie responded by saying. “Oh sweetheart, I’m sure you’re confused. May I come in and administer the test?”

I’ve known my mom for my entire life and I can tell you two things about her that Julie did not know. One, my mom does not like being treated like a child more does she tolerate people treating her older friends in this manner, and two, she is never confused and when challenged, she is always right. Let me say that again, she is always right.

With that, my mom paused briefly and said to Julie, “I tell you what sweetheart, before you come in, why don’t you check your little clipboard and double-check the date and time of our appointment? I know you think it’s today, but let’s make sure.

With a combination of frustration and the anticipation that she would soon be able to prove to my mom that her appointment was today, Julie flipped through a couple of pages on her clipboard looking for her appointment calendar. When she found it there was a long pause as Julie gathered her thoughts before presenting her findings to my mom in the most diplomatically way as possible. She slowly looked up and said, “You’re right. Our appointment is not until tomorrow.”

A tiny, almost imperceptible smile came across my mom’s face before turning into a sarcastic look of concern and compassion. Then she responded by saying, “Oh sweetheart, don’t be to hard on yourself, it can happen to anyone. If today is not a good day for you, I’d like to call someone to give you a ride home so that I know you’ll be safe.

Before Julie could respond, my mom put on a big smile and said, “Just kidding, bring your skinny little self in here and let’s get cracking”

How To Give An Acceptance Speech

Does Likeability Matter In A Job Interview?

Does likeability matter when looking for a job? I wondered the same thing and decided to find out what the experts had to say on the subject.

I asked professional recruiters who interview thousands of college graduates on campuses all over the country this question.

Do you think being perceived as likable during a job interview is important if a student wants to be seriously considered for a job at your company? If so, why?

Click on the Comments button and read what they experts had to say below.

Skype Your Way To Being Likeable

I had another interesting conversation about likeability with my son Joel last night. We were talking about the different behavior people demonstrate on Skype and what we learned about ourselves and others while using it.

The Human Experiment

If you’re not familiar with Skype, it’s a free Internet based video conferencing tool. If you and the person you want to communicate with have a computer, a video camera and a fast Internet connection, you can see and speak to each other over the Internet for free.

Skype is not only a very cool way to communicate with family and friends, it also provides an amazing insight into human nature and likeability.

When you Skype with someone, you’ll see a video of them and a video of yourself on your computer screen. And, unlike talking to someone in person where you have an opportunity to look directly into their eyes, when you use Skype you must look into the camera on your computer in order to create the illusion that your looking at them. If you don’t, the person on the other end of the connection will think you’re distracted and not paying attention.

What Do You Do?

People do one of three things when they Skype: they look directly into the camera, they look at the video of the person they’re speaking to, or they look at themselves. All three are problematic and here’s why.

When you look directly into the camera, it looks to the person on the other end of the connection as if you’re looking directly at them and that’s great. The problem however, is that when you look into the camera, you’re missing the show. You’re not looking at the person you’re talking to. You can’t respond to their expressions because you’re not looking at them.

The second option is to look at the video of the person your talking to. It seems like the natural thing to do, but it will not provide the results you expect. When you look at the video of them on your screen, it looks to them as if you’re looking off into the distance.

The final option, which is the worst and most common thing people do when using Skype, is to look at yourself during the conversation. It’s not only narcissistic, but it creates the feeling that you’re not paying attention … which you’re not, because you’re looking at yourself.

Both Joel and I have had enough experience on Skype to know that this is true. We both look at ourselves when we use Skype and noticed that virtually everyone else we talked to do the same thing. Here’s what we decided to do.

Start by hiding the video feed of you on your computer. This will help you avoid the temptation to look at yourself during the conversation. You can either move your video off screen or minimize the window so that it does not show.

Then, reduce the size of the video of the person you’re talking to and move their video window directly under your camera. The closer their video is to your camera, the more it will create the illusion that you’re looking at them during the conversation.

Change your gaze from their video to your camera. This takes practice … a lot of practice. It’s an unnatural thing to do, but it will give you the results you’re looking for.

When I was younger I made a commercial for Federal Express. It was hard enough to memorize my lines, but looking directly into the camera while delivering them was impossible. I found myself looking at everyone in the room including the cameraman, the director and the producer.

You Have To See This For Yourself

After a dozen takes, the director asked me to look at the results of my work. He played back the video and I was stunned to find how awkward and inattentive I looked. After that, I had no problem looking directly into the camera and the results were great.

And finally, knowing that the majority of people are more concerned about how they look than how you look, start your conversation by giving them an external compliment. Tell them how wonderful they look and be specific.

Not only will they appreciate you noticing, but if you follow their eyes during your compliment, you will be able to determine exactly where and how often they look at themselves during your conversation … and  it’s a lot.

Don’t let this hurt your feelings. Odds are, the person you’re conferencing with doesn’t know any better, and even if they did, it’s unlikely they will change their behavior.

Things Will Never Be The Same

The secret to demonstrating your likeability on Skype, or on any other video conferencing system, is to do what is unnatural. Change you gaze from the camera on your computer to the video of the person you’re talking to. Don’t worry about not looking at them during your entire conversation, they will look at themselves enough to make up for both of you. That’s life in the 21st Century.

Likeability

When you focus on helping people like themselves when they are in your presence, wonderful things happen. They want to work for you, hire you, buy from you, refer you to their friends, listen to you, respect your opinion, vote for you, marry you, support you, and befriend you.

Being a people pleaser is the key to disaster. Knowing how to help people like themselves is where the magic happens.  It’s the key to happiness, longevity, health and success. Enjoy the site!

Bob Sommers
The Likeability Guy