30 Day Likeability Challenge – Lesson 7
Were you able to “get” someone over the past two days? Were you able to do it without judging them? How did it make you feel? How did it make them feel? Please tell the community what you learned from the last lesson in the comment section below.
We like people who elevate us.
Your challenge over the next 48 hours is to elevate the mood of the people you’re with and report back on what you learned.
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By Jerome Kellner, February 26, 2010 @ 2:37 pm
Yes, I engaged with one person in particular.
I really went for it; she was a complete stranger, which may not be the best choice, since I am male. There are societal aspects of this kind of encounter.
But what a learning experience; what I learned about me, and as a consequence, about her. As she revealed certain characteristics about who she was, wow, I judged her immediately and not in a favorable light! Been doing that my whole life, truth be told.
But here is why I say this program is the single best personal development course I’ve ever taken. What a great learning experience, recalling when Bob intimated that anyone can just ignore differences they have with other people, rather than judge them or let those differences be a friendship breaker. That’s some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten.
In this “getting encounter” with this woman, I learned that I automatically go to judgment, in a negative way, because some people — probably most people! — think differently than I do. That’s what I did with this poor woman. My judgment didn’t do her any good; and it didn’t do me any good. What good was it? None whatsoever.
I was able to correct my judgmental thinking, and as Bob suggests, just ignore the differences. Who cares? Which is what I did.
What a liberating experience.
And you know what?
I liked this woman more as a result. Whereas before, I would have (very negatively) written her off as a loser, or a weirdo or whatever, because she thought quite differently from me. And if I like her more, chances are she’ll like me more — that’s what this program is all about.
One more wow: when I ignored all I saw in her that I judged as negative, all I could see was the good in her. What a wonderful wow. That’s the only way to see anyone, without a doubt.
Thank you for a fantastic program, a life changer.
By April Harris, April 3, 2011 @ 3:25 pm
Yes, Bob. I did. I felt differently also. Instead of seeing this person as just a jerk, I could see that they are really insecure and fearful. I will be gently sharing some information for a life coach for one person. Once I gave this person a chance I could immediately recognize a shift in their demeanor. This same person and I will be meeting soon and in the words of Steve Covey, “I am seeking first to understand and then be understood.”
By Reginald AMICY, December 7, 2011 @ 7:36 am
Forgetting about the judgmental kind of attitude creates a win-win human interaction for certain! Thanks, Bob!